8 female Olympians on loving ‘strong’ over ‘skinny’

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There are no thigh gaps in the Olympics.

If you want to sprint up and down a soccer field, you need thick, strong legs to carry you. If you want to box your way to gold, you need arms that can jab and cross round after round. If you want to throw your opponent in Judo, your core needs to be as solid as the ground you stand on.

There’s no doubt female Olympians have the bodies of champions, but these bodies—the product of blood, sweat, tears, and incredible talent and perseverance—don’t often conform to society’s standards of feminine beauty.

This is bullshit. For the eight Olympians featured here, rising to the top of their sport meant learning to value strength over skinny, to embrace their muscles along with their curves. Read their empowering words about body image.

Kelley O’Hara, soccer

Kelly O’Hara already earned one Olympic gold medal in 2012, and she’s hoping to repeat history in Rio. Despite her talent on the pitch, however, O’Hara says used to struggle with body image—until she learned to appreciate all the amazing things her body could do.

“When I was in middle school and even high school, I wasn’t comfortable with my body. I look back and it makes me sad, but I’ve grown into my body and really embrace it,” she told Shape.

“I don’t have the typical girl body, I’m kind of built like a boy. I don’t have an hourglass figure but that’s OK because I can play soccer and run for 90 minutes and kick ass on the soccer field, so it’s all good. I love how I look. My favorite body part is my butt because that’s where we get all our power from and that’s what keeps me going up and down the field and drives my explosiveness. I kind of have a bubble butt, but it helps me do what I need to do!”

Kayla Harrison, judo

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At the London Olympics, Harrison became the first American to nab the gold in judo—a pretty big deal in a sport where Americans are underdogs. Harrison also voluntarily competes in a higher weight class. When ESPN asked her how she made peace with the extra weight, she responded:

“I think growing up, especially for young girls in judo or in weight-cutting sports, it’s really difficult. You’re told the lighter you are, the better you’ll fight.”

But, she continued, she doesn’t agree. “When I teach clinics, when I talk to young girls anywhere, I tell them, ‘Look, I don’t cut weight anymore. I eat like 6,000 calories a day. What I truly believe is that if you’re going to win, you’ll win at whatever weight you fight.’ I always preach that strong is beautiful, strong is powerful and you shouldn’t change your body for sport, for society, for anything.”

Claressa Shields, boxing

Claressa Shields won gold in London in 2012, and she’s on track to do it again in Rio. But being in a sport where hits to the face are a given has forced her to redefine how she views beauty.

“For a long time, I thought my nose was pretty big. I’d get hit in my nose and I’d think, ‘This nose is huge!’” Shields told ESPN. “But now I think I’m very beautiful.”

She adds, “Fighting is something God wants me to do. I’m built the way that I am—with my shape and my figure, with my muscles—because God blessed me with that, and I’m grateful for it. He wants me to be a boxer and to be a fighter.”

April Ross, beach volleyball

April Ross is no stranger to appearance-related pressures: The beach volleyball player’s uniform is a bikini. As she told ESPN, however, she would never let this stop her from being the strongest, most powerful athlete she can be.

“I don’t feel like you should ever sacrifice strong for skinny. Strong is just as beautiful, and especially in sports, it’s essential,” Ross told ESPN. “I just never want to see any athlete sacrifice sustenance and fuel and taking care of their body in order to try and achieve this kind of skinny body type.”

Adeline Gray, wrestling

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Adeline Gray, a three-time world championship wrestler, knows what it’s like to be female in a male dominated sport—and the body issues that can go along with that. In fact, people used to tell her all the time, “You’re too pretty to wrestle.” Thankfully, she didn’t listen.

“I think people used to view female athletes as very butch, masculine—you kind of had to disregard your femininity to excel at an elite sport,” she told ESPN. “Now it’s just a different world … You are allowed to be a female and be considered beautiful and still be an athlete and still be badass in that realm.”

In an interview with Shape, Gray elaborated on her body-positive message, saying, “I love my shape because I am strong, and powerful, and beautiful. I’m a super heavy weight for women’s wrestling and I get to walk around knowing I love myself naked and clothed.” Cheers to that!

Mattie Rogers, weightlifting

Mattie Rogers is an alternate on the U.S. women’s weightlifting team. As one of the strongest and youngest competitors in her weight division—she’s only 20 years old—she knows the immense pressure placed on women to fit into cookie-cutter body types. But she’s having none of it.

“Being strong is the best kind of confidence you can have. I’ve been in the girly, cheerleader shoes where you just want to be skinny and tan and look good, but you’re never really happy. You’re just trying to look like someone else,” Rogers told USA Today.

“But when you’re strong? It’s like a totally different kind of confidence. You’re happy with how your body looks and it’s performing. It’s not just striving to be someone else.”

Brittany Griner, basketball

Brittany Griner is 6’8″, which means she’s great at dunking basketballs. It also means that, wherever she goes, her body makes an entrance. But Griner is perfectly happy in her own skin.

“I’d describe myself as athletically lanky. I want to show people that. I’m comfortable in my body and I don’t mind putting it on display,” she told ESPN. “Honestly, I like how unique it is. My big arms, my bigger hands, these long legs—I love being different. If everybody was the same, it’d be a boring-ass world.” She later adds, “That’s my body and I look the way I look. People are either going to accept me for who I am or they’re not.”

Simone Biles, gymnastics

Simone Biles—who, at 19, is competing in her first Olympics in Rio—is considered one of the most powerful gymnasts in the world, and much of that power comes from her muscle structure. At one time, Biles’ body, which she has described as “stockier” than other gymnasts’, made her self-conscious (she’s 4’8″). But over the years she’s learned to love what makes her different.

“I was built this way for a reason, so I’m going to use it,” Biles told Teen Vogue. “To go out there and prove what I can do has taught me a lot about who I am … We can push ourselves further. We always have more to give.”

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8 female Olympians on loving ‘strong’ over ‘skinny’

Hillary Clinton faces a major obstacle that has nothing to do with Trump, Benghazi, or emails

FUSION

Hillary Clinton’s opponents like to argue that if the Democratic nominee wins the presidency it will only be because she’s a woman. Even Donald Trump famously accused Clinton of “playing the woman’s card,” because we all know women have it sooo easy when it comes to ascending to positions of power.

This argument is deeply flawed, of course, given all of the chauvinistic man babies out there who believe Clinton is less capable of holding the office simply because she is a woman. And now, new research published in the journal Political Research Quarterly helps illuminate exactly how Clinton’s gender could work against her come November.

The short version of the research is that, when it comes to national security, Americans are biased in favor of people with penises—and specifically, Republicans with penises. So as a Democrat without a penis, Clinton faces a unique challenge.

For the study, political scientists from the Tulane University, Vanderbilt University, and University of California-Riverside investigated how the intersection of gender and party affects perceptions of political candidates, specifically when it comes to national security and terrorism—two issues that rank high among American voters in this election.

The researchers chose to focus on these issues because, historically, American voters have shown gender bias toward both—they’ve perceived male politicians to be stronger leaders who are better at handling defense and national security, while female politicians have been perceived as more compassionate and better at handling women’s and children’s issues.

On top of this, voters historically perceive Republicans to carry more masculine traits, which translates to being seen as tougher on terror and national security, whereas Democrats are perceived as weaker in these areas. Thus, a male Republican would be seen as the strongest on security and a female Democrat would be seen as the weakest. (Remember: These are stereotypes voters hold—they are not reflective of actual strengths or weaknesses.)

With this information as a guide, researchers in the current study hypothesized that female Democrat candidates are at a disadvantage when terrorism and national security take center stage in an election—as is happening now—because they have two marks against them: their party and their gender. The authors write:

When a security threat is made salient, such that masculine traits become even more relevant, the Democratic female candidate, who has both party and gender working against her on these dimensions, will still be harmed by male stereotypes.

To test this hypothesis researchers surveyed 1,074 participants, in a sample size that resembled the general United States population. Participants were asked to play the part of voters in a hypothetical gubernatorial election. They were each randomly assigned a newspaper article, which described the State as being susceptible to terrorist attacks or described the State as doing quite well and making progress on education. They were then given one of four election match-ups—Republican male versus Democrat male, Republican male versus Democrat female, Republican female versus Democrat male, and Republican female versus Democrat female—and asked to rate the candidates on leadership, trustworthiness, and general feelings.

After analyzing the data the researchers made the following conclusion:

The evidence suggests that, when terrorism is salient in the news, Democratic female candidates, compared with their male counterparts, may have lower success in primaries and general elections.

Put differently, when terrorism and national security are seen as especially relevant, only female Democratic candidates suffer.

The researchers go on to explain that while male Democratic candidates are typically perceived as weak on terrorism, that perception is tempered by the fact that they are men. Meanwhile, Republican women’s party card makes up for their woman card.

This leaves female Democrats as the odd woman out—and it leaves Clinton facing a hurdle no other U.S. Presidential candidate has faced. After all, the country has never seen a Presidential election that pits a male Republican candidate against a female Democratic candidate—and during a time of imperiled national security, no less.

Despite her tenure as Secretary of State, Clinton still trails Trump in several polls regarding national security and terror. A May 2016 gallup poll found that 50% of Americans felt Trump was better equipped to handle terrorism and national security versus 46% of Americans who felt Clinton was stronger. This is remarkable because Trump has zero experience in national security or foreign policy—and yet, by virtue of being male and a Republican (among other qualities), he’s still seen by many as better equipped to handle those issues.

“The stereotype literature would suggest that people may view Trump as more able to handle national security issues, just based on his party and gender,” the study’s lead author, Mirya Holman, told me over email. “This may be particularly important for low-information voters that rely on these smaller pieces of information to replace more complete information about policy and positions.”

All of this research makes even more sense in the context of the Republican and Democratic National Conventions. Trump focused his entire convention on fear-mongering, the threat of radical Islamic terrorism, and restoring “law and order.” He essentially doubled down on the area in which he’s given bonus points for simply being a man, despite his lack of a track record.

Meanwhile, Clinton focused her convention on “love trumps hate,” with many speakers seeking to humanize the nominee as a fighter for women, children, and the working class—all of which plays up her perceived “female” strengths. As Holman pointed out, when the DNC did get tough on national security and terrorism, the message was delivered by men.

“Speeches like [former Director of the CIA] Leon Panetta’s and [Vice President] Biden’s were very much aimed at establishing Clinton as having the masculine trait and issue strengths needed to be Commander in Chief,” says Holman. “It is particularly interesting to note that she used surrogates—and men—to do so. It may be that her campaign thinks that people will believe her more if someone else says she is strong on these issues.”

Sadly, they’re probably right.

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Hillary Clinton faces a major obstacle that has nothing to do with Trump, Benghazi, or emails

18 badass women who competed in the Olympics while pregnant

FUSION

If any two events highlight the utter miraculousness of women’s bodies, they are the Olympics and pregnancy. Usually, though, we don’t get to witness women pulling off both at the same time—but over the years, at least 18 athletes competed in the Games while with child.

While no pregnant athletes are competing in Rio this month (which is good news because of Zika risks), we’ve gathered the stories of the insanely inspiring women who, since 1920, have done their thing while doing their thing. Prepare to be awed.

Lisa Brown-Miller, newly pregnant

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The American ice hockey player on the right competed while unknowingly pregnant with her first child in 1998. This was the first year women’s hockey became an Olympic sport, and Brown-Miller’s team killed it: They won the gold.

Mara Navarria, newly pregnant

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The Italian fencer is shown on the left. She competed in the London Olympics in 2012 and found out she was pregnant weeks later.

Kim Rhode, newly pregnant

AP

Rhode is an American shooter. She competed in the London Olympics in 2012 while unknowingly pregnant. It wasn’t until, more than a month later, as she listened to friends describe symptoms of their own pregnancies, that she put two and two together. Rhode earned Olympic medals in the 1996, 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2012 Games.

Katerina Kurkova-Emmons, newly pregnant

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Kurkova-Emmons is a Czech shooter. She competed in 2008 Games in Beijing while one-month pregnant—and she nailed it, winning her first gold medal.

Martina Valcepina, newly pregnant

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Valcepina is an Italian short-track speed-skater. She competed while one-month pregnant with twins during the 2010 Games in Vancouver. Four years later, she competed in the 2014 Sochi Olympics.

Kerri Walsh, newly pregnant

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Walsh is an American beach volleyball player. She competed in 2012 London Games while unknowingly five-weeks pregnant. And you know what? She won her third gold medal that year, too.

DeAnne Hemmens, 2 months

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Hemmens is an American athlete who canoed for the U.S. Olympic team in the 1996 Games in Atlanta while she was two-months pregnant.

Kerstin Szymkowiak, 2 months

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Szymkowiak is a German skeleton racer with the nickname “Ice Tiger.” She won a silver medal when she competed at the 2010 Games in Vancouver while two-months pregnant.

Amelie Kober, 2 months

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Kober is a German snowboarder who competed while two-months pregnant in the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. The athlete revealed Kober her pregnancy in an interview at the Games, saying, “It is true that I am sitting out this season aside from this one race, because I will become a Mom.”

Diana Sartor, 2+ months

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Sartor is a German skeleton racer who competed while nine-weeks pregnant during the 2006 Turin Olympics. She placed fourth.

Magda Julin, 3 months

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Julin was a Swedish figure skater. She competed while 3 months pregnant in the 1920 Antwerp Olympics and received the gold medal. Yes, the same year the United States officially went “dry” under Prohibition, Julin was skating her way to gold while carrying a child.

Anna-Maria Johansson, 3 months

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Johansson is a Swedish handball player. She competed while three-months pregnant at the 2012 Olympics in London. After the Games, she took a year off before returning to the sport.

Juno Stover-Irwin, 3.5 months pregnant

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Stover-Irwin, shown second to left, was an American diver who competed while she was 3.5 months pregnant in 1952. She took home a bronze medal that year.

Anita Spring, 4 months

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Spring is an Australian beach volleyball player, featured here with her teammate, Liane Fenwick. Spring competed while four-months pregnant at the 1996 Atlanta Games.

Anky van Grunsven, 5 months

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Van Grunsven is a Dutch dressage competitor. She was five-months pregnant when she won the gold medal at the 2004 Olympics in Athens. Greek heat in the summer? NBD.

Kristie Moore, 5 months

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Moore is a Canadian curler who competed while five-months pregnant at the Vancouver 2010 Games. Moore took home the silver medal that year.

Cornelia Pfohl, newly pregnant AND 7 months

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This queen badass competed in the Olympics pregnant twice. In 2000, Pfohl, a German Archer, competed while newly pregnant and won bronze at the Sydney Games. Then, four years later in 2004, she competed while seven-months pregnant in Athens. If you’re wondering how she’d do if she competed in the Olympics while not pregnant, I can tell you—pretty damn well. Before becoming pregnant, she won a silver medal in the 1996 Atlanta Games. All hail.

Nur Suryani Taibi, 8 months

AP

This Malaysian shooter is a damn inspiration. In 2012, she was the first woman to compete for Malaysia in Olympic sharpshooting—and she did so while eight-months pregnant with her first child. In interviews, Taibi said she had to adjust her stance to accommodate the pregnancy, but the added weight actually made her more stable. Taibi holds the record for “most pregnant athlete” to compete at the Olympics. Hell yes!

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18 badass women who competed in the Olympics while pregnant

What the hell is a ‘Zika-proof’ condom—and should we all be using them?

FUSION

The Australian Olympic Committee is sending its athletes to Rio equipped with so-called “Zika-proof” condoms. But what makes these condoms special?

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What the hell is a ‘Zika-proof’ condom—and should we all be using them?

Sorry, everyone: The future of sex is total apathy

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We’re entering an age of sex apathy if not outright hostility, and I for one am ready for this revolution. You might find that second part hard to believe, and I understand why: I write about sex all the time. At first glance, my portfolio makes me look like one of those giddy, happily geeky sex advocates who believes everyone should try putting something up their butt. (Just try it! Just once!)

But I write about sex mostly because I get mad. Sex-related misinformation and stigma wreaks havoc in the world, poisoning relationships and hollowing self-esteem, causing useless anguish and physical harm. To combat that, I want everyone to have more access to science and kindness and common sense. I want misinformation thrown out—and that includes ideological propaganda about why women need to work harder at getting off or should endure oral sex regardless of how much they actually like it. I don’t write about sex because I think good sex is the key to a good life or (god forbid) a right. I would never submit that “all sex, as long as it is healthy and explicitly consensual, is a positive thing.” I’m not advocating for the inherent goodness of anything except accuracy, and the day our culture isn’t sexually dysfunctional (lol) is the day I hang up my sex writing pen for good. In other words, I’m not here to sell you a brand new house, I’m just here to fumigate your current one.

Still, it’s not lost on me that sex as a topic, as a selling point, and even as a physical phenomenon, is overexposed, inescapable, exhaustingly mundane. I too see sex-related headlines and automatically feel drained, even when the article in question is written by someone I trust to be insightful and careful. Here sex goes again, my spirit sighs, wearing the one-man-band suit from Mary Poppins, begging for more attention, sucking all the air out of the proverbial room. Sex is relentless and uninspiring, demanding yet boring. Sex is Taylor Swift. We get it already. Now can we please have a break? I believe that in the near future, we will.

Sex is relentless and uninspiring, demanding yet boring. Sex is Taylor Swift.

Actually, it’s already happening. As a Washington Post article recently declared, “it’s a less sexy time to be young than it used to be.” Studies have shown that both adolescents and young millennials (in the 20-24 age range) are waiting longer to have sex or not having it at all. Experts speculate this can be due to prohibitively high attractiveness standards they perceive others may hold, a lack of face-to-face interaction, or a lack of time to pursue partners. But some of it must also be a plain lack of interest. Many of my friends in their late 20s and early 30s—educated, intelligent people who are sophisticated enough to be blase about fisting and orgies—are also fed the fuck up with fucking. That’s not the result of them supporting sodomy laws or believing in mandatory monogamy or having had bad sex once. (Who’s only had bad sex once?) It’s their way of rejecting the chirpy, lobotomized sex positivity that’s come to dominate mainstream culture. These friends might be regularly sleeping with someone or several someones, but when it comes to obsessing and enthusing about sex, they want to opt out.

Consequently, they joke about being “sex-negative” the way some people joke about misandry: with an undercurrent of seriousness. Outspokenly sex-positive people regularly posit that “embracing sexuality is a very important part of who you are” and that “we should be celebrating…and embracing” sex. (“Embrace” comes up a lot when sex positivity is the topic.) And at first glance, those messages seem unobjectionable. But there’s a lot to challenge in this worldview.

As feminist Jillian Horowitz has explained, “being sex-negative means acknowledging that sex, and kink, have nothing intrinsically ‘good’ or ‘positive’ about them.” In the ways I’ve most recently seen it used online and in person, a sex negative or “sex blahsitivist” stance doesn’t call for a return to shaming or ignorance around sex. Rather, it dismisses sex as a fundamentally interesting, “good,” or necessary lens for understanding and actualizing one’s self.

As self-identified “sex skeptic” Isabel Slone recently wrote, “referring to yourself as ‘sex negative’ is simply one way to eschew the constant pressure to enjoy and experiment with your sexuality.” Because “the performative enjoyment of sex has essentially become a mandatory part of being alive,” sex itself can often feel like “an imposition.” Where’s the space for those who believe many of our qualities, maybe even most of our qualities, are more integral to our selfhood than what type of sex we pursue or prefer? What about asexuals or voluntary celibates? Why do any of us have to make a point of applauding the sexual practices of strangers like we’re bedside Little League coaches? Sex, and a largely uncritical attitude toward it, has been made compulsory. That’s a categorically bad effect of the sexual revolution.

Granted, savvy sex-positive spokespeople add caveats that abstaining from sex is fine, too! But this feels like lip service given that it’s rarely paired with a push to establish personal sexual practices as, well, not actually anyone else’s business—or even more radically, with the notion that sex may not be a hugely important aspect of each human life. Sometimes—and for some people, all the time—sex simply doesn’t matter that much.

Not so long ago, in certain circles, an eager embrace of all things sexual was a sign of sophistication and political enlightenment. Our collective sex mania still holds tremendous social cache and publicly professing your fixation on sex can still serve as shorthand that you’re proud of your body and highly erogenous, experienced and confident, free from shame or other embarrassing anxieties. Or at least, sex obsession when practiced by white able-bodied cis people works that way. (As always, different rules apply for anyone outside the cultural ideal.)

Soon, sex nonchalance is going to be the norm, and we’ll have a chance to recover from our collective burnout.

But that conviction is crumbling, and the blooming trend towards sex apathy seems to bridge many of these demographic divides. I’ve seen women of color and trans women, as well as those who are cis and white, express eagerness to move on to other topics of discussion and political engagement. “Sex is bad” is a handy, tongue-in-cheek refrain for anyone who has experimented with casual sex and the pursuit of genital pleasure as a gateway to a better life and found it ineffective, or anyone who finds sex (re)traumatizing or otherwise unappealing. It’s not usually meant as condemnation so much as dismissal, a derisive aside to let everyone involved change the subject. Fucking doesn’t solve many or even any of our problems, and it often creates even more. “Sex might be perilous to a woman’s well-being,” writes Alana Massey, “and often, if we’re honest, a physically substandard experience.” Sorry, straight ladies, but it’s true: men care a lot less about getting a girl off when they’re not in a committed relationship with her.

Mounting sex fatigue isn’t just about ideological differences around feminism or sex positivity. Apps and the internet have notoriously made casual sex easier than ever before. We’re inundated by sex in the media if not sex in our beds—though a lot of us might be getting that, too. From how we should judge a political candidate to how we’re going to relieve headaches, get fitter, and prevent cancer, sex is the go-to answer. Stressed from work? Sex should fix it. Need a raise? Have extra sex. Are you masturbating enough? Are you orgasming in every possible way? It’s a constrictive, neoliberal hellscape, not a permissive pleasure utopia.

As Rachel Hills detailed extensively in last year’s The Sex Myth, this climate produces as many anxieties and untruths as it alleviates, making the sex wars a zero-sum game. That’s why more and more people are removing themselves from the front lines. “I was always sort of ‘sex shrug,’” journalist Melissa Gira Grant said recently on a podcast. “I’m tired. This conversation just keeps happening, and I can exit.” “I’m sex negative in that I don’t think sex is real and I don’t want to talk about it, and it’s boring,” host merritt k replied. “How much can you really say?”

We’re at a sex saturation point. After centuries of denial, we spent a few decades bingeing hard and now we’re dealing with a hangover that won’t quit. Appetites are eliminated when they’re satisfied and if you’re sated for long enough, you might forget you were ever hungry at all. In a world where sex is de rigueur and overabundant, sex forfeits the propulsive pressure associated with the taboo and unknown.

That’s not a bad thing. With sex no longer withheld, we can come by our rejections of it and hesitations around it more honestly. Getting here sucked, no pun intended, but the end is in sight. Soon, sex nonchalance is going to be the norm, and we’ll have a chance to recover from our collective burnout and finally explore what sex could mean, or not mean, for our larger lives. The United States has long seemed embarrassingly juvenile to, say, parts of Europe; maybe we’re finally catching up with them. In the future, sex will finally be like eating: You can obsess over your diet, you can rail at people who do it differently than you, you can build your whole life around your culinary preferences. But most people don’t really care what you do or don’t put in your mouth, and that’s the way it should be.

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Sorry, everyone: The future of sex is total apathy

I got a glimpse into the future of women in gaming—and it was magical

Made With Code

If you poke around the average tech company you’ll notice a lot of things. There will be boards scribbled with code, ideas flowing in a stream of buzzwordy consciousness—“Innovate!” “Next gen development!”—and, unfortunately, a whole lot of white faces. Male white faces. That’s because, even though the United States has never been so racially diverse, the insides of some of the biggest tech firms still look like a pre-segregation boys’ club.

Part of the problem is that some black and latino students lack a proper pipeline into the industry. But many also feel alienated by the homogeneity of the tech world—and so, even if they study computer science and engineering in college, they opt out professionally. Meanwhile, for a host of reasons, too many young women shy away from science and tech starting in high school.

The good news is that tech companies are aware, with firms including Google, Microsoft, Twitter, and Facebooktaking steps to diversify their staff. Some of these companies are even attempting to get at the root of the problem: If they can make themselves appealing to a diverse set of young people, and particularly young women, early in their academic careers, perhaps this interest will translate to greater racial and gender diversity on their teams down the road.

I recently had the opportunity to see what this type of effort looks like in practice and found the results incredibly inspiring.

Last week, Google teamed up with Red Hook, Brooklyn’s Pioneer Works art space for an aptly named event calledArt x Code. The event was organized through the tech giant’s Made with Code program, which encourages young women to develop a passion for STEM. Throughout the weeklong “summer school,” instructors taught ten young women of color how to build video games from scratch, manipulate virtual reality, and utilize cutting-edge design software such as Scratch, Unity, and Tilt Brush. At the end of the program, each girl “graduated” with both a certificate and the promise of mentorship from both organizations.

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Pioneer Works is also (as you can clearly see) a gigantic exhibition space.

When I visited last Thursday, I found the girls wearing VR headsets, laughing, playing, and deeply immersed in digital worlds of their own creation. It looked like a ton of fun, yes, but it was also clearly a vehicle to help them think beyond traditional “feminine fields” and toward potential careers in tech. Some told me they were able to learn a few basic computer skills at school, mostly Photoshop and intro design software, but none had previously been offered this type of comprehensive coding and back-end education in a public institution. Their faces became animated when they discussed the new talents they had acquired, showing off blueprints for video games and programs, or discussed the seeds of lifelong friendships.

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Presentation day at Art x Code.

None of this passion for programming should be shocking, however. According to research Google and Pioneer Works provided to me, 74% of middle school girls say they’re interested in computer science—but by high school, this drops to 0.3%. By introducing girls just on the precipice to tech, they can potentially help steer them towards new growth opportunities.

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

First you have to "become the code."

Many of the girls at Art x Code had previously participated in a coding initiative organized by Black Girls Rock, an official partner of Google’s Made with Code (not to be confused with Black Girls Code, another Made with Code initiative). But others had been nominated from within the local Red Hook community—which, it should be noted, is 80% people of color. Here, they were paired with Pioneer Works’ educators and technologists for a boot camp with days centered on topics such as 3D game design, coding, generative graphics, virtual reality, and the “practicalities of design.” At the end of the week, each girl had created the seeds of her own video game empire.

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Before the girls could learn digital gaming skills, they had to learn IRL dodgeball skills.

“What we’re really trying to do with with code is to make it a movement,” said Hilary Neve, head of brand communications and strategic initiatives at Google. “This means that we really try to help support things that are already happening in communities, like Pioneer Works and the Red Hook Initiative.”

Neve, who is also tasked with spotting broader trends in culture and then forging new partnerships for Google, thinks creating the Art x Code project was kind of a no-brainer. “Girls like video games, so why not give them the fundamentals of something they really love? For them, it’s realizing that a lot of things that they enjoy are made with code [and that they can make it themselves]. It can be a website, or even something with a cool logo on it. There are so many things in the world that are made with code that if we start exploring and exposing that, it also turns into artistry—and it feels like tomorrow’s artistry.”

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Jalsa Drinkard, 13. "At first I wasn’t sure if I'd like code. I hate math, it's complicated for me! But then I learned [code] and it was really fun. I've started practicing on my own in my free time."

“To close the gender gap in technology you have to allow girls to understand the basics and make it available to them,” says Google education department coordinator Bethany Tabor.

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Lauren Jackson, 14, walks through the virtual museum she created. "Learning this stuff makes me feel more confident. Now that I know I can do this kind of thing, I feel like I have a lot more options. This could open up a new world of possibilities. It gives you a lot more optimism!"

Dave Sheinkopf, the co-director of education at Pioneer Works, looks at the project more pragmatically. “Eighty percent of jobs in the next few years will be in front of computers. So how literate you are with computers is completely linked to how successful you will be job-wise.”

Image courtesy of Pioneer Works.

Melynda Payne, 14. "I didn’t really have a career in mind before the program. But now that I know I have it as a talent and can do it as a career, it feel like I have another option."

Sheinkopf believes the best way to empower women, especially women of color, is to give them the tools to thrive in a rapidly evolving world. “Code also teaches you critical thinking, logic, problem solving—and to do all these things that, really, when you get down to it, are just life skills. Above that, by having programs like this that center around creativity, collaboration, and fun, we can demonstrate to these girls and their families that it isn’t boring to have passion for technology. In fact, it’s something that needs to be cultivated and applauded. ”

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I got a glimpse into the future of women in gaming—and it was magical

Pregnancy is supposed to be magical, but for me it was horrifying—and I’m not alone

Esperanza Mendez

I felt like a horrible mother, and my baby wasn’t even born yet. I can remember crying in bed at night, unable to sleep, my head pounding. I felt helpless, as though the anguish would never go away.

My troubles had started soon after I decided to accept my pregnancy, at the age of 26. Something felt off.

During visits to my obstetrician, I would look at the other soon-to-be-moms sitting around the office. They all had a glow about them, seeming to nod at one another in solidarity as they gently patted their too-big bellies. They had baby names picked out and ornate nurseries ready to go, months before their due dates. Instead of affinity, I felt frustration and isolation.

I was never suicidal, but I can remember thinking that everyone would be better off without me. I thought about running away. I avoided my friends. And to top it off, I had immense anxiety and guilt about feeling the way I did.

What I didn’t realize then was that I was experiencing a mood disorder, called prenatal depression—and that I wasn’t alone.

While most moms have probably heard about postpartum depression—a mood disorder that manifests after childbirth—far fewer are likely to be aware of prenatal depression. Yet studies suggest the disorder is widespread: Between 14-23% of women experience symptoms of depression during pregnancy, according to The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

Prenatal depression is triggered by hormone changes during pregnancy that can produce chemicals in the brain that cause depression and anxiety. Symptoms of prenatal depression include things like insomnia, difficulty concentrating or making decisions, changes in eating habits, periods of anger or rage, sadness and crying, a constant feeling of being overwhelmed, and even thoughts of harming oneself, or running away and escaping.

Every once in awhile, an extreme story will come along—like the woman in Texas who drowned her children in a bathtub in 2001—or we’ll get testimonials from celebrities like Drew Barrymore and Brooke Shields, that bring some awareness to postpartum depression. But those things do little to expose the wider spectrum of pregnancy-related depression, particularly the slew of emotional and mental health issues that many women face even before their babies are born.

In my case, a general lack of awareness about prenatal depression was compounded by cultural norms. As a Latina, I didn’t tell many people about what I was going through because, for the most part, depression isn’t acknowledged as a medical condition in my community.

There hasn’t been much research done about prenatal depression among Latinas—the majority of studies appear to focus on white women—but there have been studies that include other ethnic populations that suggest women of color may be at higher risk: More than 17% of black women were found to suffer from prenatal depression, compared to less than 14% of white women, according to one study conducted at East Carolina University.

“There is a lot of stigma around getting help as a mother, and many mothers suffer alone because they are afraid to speak up about what they are feeling,” said Dr. Lisa Edwards, who provides pre- and post-partum counseling to undocumented Latinas at Marquette University. “There is a need for more bicultural and bilingual professionals so mothers can have greater access to care.”

Prenatal depression doesn’t only affect the mother. A 2011 study found that children whose mothers suffered depression during pregnancy have a greater chance of developing asthma. Approximately 70% of the women surveyed who said they experienced anxiety or depression during their pregnancy, also reported that their child had wheezed before the age of 5.

“Prenatal depression is a real thing, and it is much more common than is reported,” said Joanna Boles Whitlow, a doula and the founder of About Families Inc., a non-profit in Indio, CA that offers free education and support services to new and expecting parents. “In fact, it is rare for a woman, especially a soon-to-be-mother, not to experience emotional shifts.”

It was Whitlow, in fact, who helped me deal with my own depression. She was my doula during pregnancy and was the first person to explain to me in clinical terms what I was going through, and that it wasn’t something to feel guilty about.

“It’s almost like it is more understandable to be depressed when you are up with a crying baby—you are not sleeping, you can’t have sex or dates with your partner, you have a postpartum body,” said Whitlow. “There is just more stigma associated with depression during pregnancy because pregnancy is supposed to be glamorous and sexy, you are supposed to be excited about having a baby.”

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, suicide deaths and attempts account for up to 20% of prenatal deaths of mothers.

Support groups can bring much-needed relief to Latina mothers-to-be.

Adella Gonzalez* was four months pregnant with her fifth child when she reached out to Susie Del Toro, a program manager at El Sol Neighborhood Educational Center’s Mamás y Bebes program in Riverside County.

She found herself deeply depressed, an affliction only made worse by the domestic abuse she faced at home.

“I used to cry myself to sleep. I felt so much sadness, anxiety, and disconnect about my coming baby,” said Gonzalez in Spanish. “Before attending a support group at El Sol, I had no idea this was normal. Sometimes all these women need is someone to talk to, someone who is going through the same things, experiencing the same emotions they are.”

Thanks to my doula, who directed me to a therapist who was able to treat and diagnose me, I now know the most important thing you can do for an expectant mother suffering from depression is let her know that she is not alone. I plan on sharing my story with as many as I can to lift the stigma because unlike many others, I had support to get me through the toughest days.

Eventually my gloom lifted, and in its place I was filled with the sweetest kind of joy: owning and embracing motherhood unconditionally. My daughter is now a one-year-old who brings joy to everyone we meet. She squeals with delight at the smallest things. People literally stop me on the street to say hello, and tell me how beautiful she is. I am so lucky to be her mom.

*Name was changed to respect privacy, at the request of the individual

This content was made possible by a grant from The California Endowment and produced independently by Fusion’s Rise Up: Be Heard Journalism Fellowship.

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Pregnancy is supposed to be magical, but for me it was horrifying—and I’m not alone